I feel a breakthrough coming. The only problem is that I am having an incredibly difficult time grasping it. It feels like I am getting close to something that is going to be very good... If I could only grab it and hold tight. Somehow it manages to stay just outside my reach. It's like I can feel it and see it, but I can't quite understand what it is yet. Whatever it is, I know it is going to help me with this new novel. I know that there has to be something that I am missing in my storyline. There is something that isn't there that wants to be, but I don't know what it is yet. Maybe I need to dig deeper into some of my characters to try and lure it out... or maybe it is simpler than even that. I don't really know right now.
Aside from that elusive piece of wonderful, the work is coming along nicely. By that I mean I have a basic plan for about 15 chapters. Though some of those chapters will probably end up getting mashed together. We'll say I have the basic plan for about 10-12 chapters then. My prologue is written and just needs to be editted over and over again. I'll wait a few days... or maybe weeks and then read it over and see what I don't like. After that, I have several friends and connections that I can get to look over it for me. I really don't know what I would do without my friends. They are so willing to help, but I worry that if I let them read something of mine they won't be completely truthful with me about what they think... especially if it is horribly written.
I am really starting to dig deep into the research behind this project. There are a lot of things that I don't know that I am going to need to know. Even though it is a TON of work, I always feel as though I have accomplished something huge when I learn a new fact or something intersting/quirky that I can add to the story. Those little things really make it feel that much more real. It is strange to think that in a year (or more) I could potentially have this finished and (hopefully) published. Though there is still that chance that it is terrible and I don't see it because I wrote it. However, I am hardly ever happy with anything I write which is why I let a few other people read pieces of it. I still don't know if I am going to give the full manuscript to any of my friends for a read through before I send it off. I probably will, but I have to get over this shyness thing first and realize that I can obviously write or I wouldn't still be making good grades in my Creative Writing classes in college. It is difficult when I am reading other peoples' works. It isn't that they are really all that much better than mine.. I just think they are. I guess they aren't really comparable because all authors have different styles and thought patterns so every work is unique to that author.
That is one thing that I always love to think about. It is funny. If you give a group of authors the beginning of a story and allow them to finish it every single one will come up with something different. There may be similarities, but the bulk of the story will be different. I love the fact that I can be in a group of people where there is so much creativity. It makes me feel good to be creating stuff in such a wonderful group. I suppose I should submit some of my novel pieces to them. Who better to critique my work then a group of other authors?
I am so happy that I finally found my passion. I don't know what I am going to end up doing with a degree in Creative Writing, but I am happy that I am doing something I love. Hopefully I can break through the barrier and get my work out there for others to read. I love what I am doing and I love it even more when others love what I do.
In this current one, I have some characters that are being extremely difficult. There is one that is quite reluctant to reveal himself to me. He's extremely secretive and withdrawn. Though I suppose that will help when I write him in the novel because if I don't know certain things about him, there will be no chance that it will end up accidentally in the novel. I've been working on the story since I got up this morning and am just now taking a much needed break. Hopefully I can make this come together and all will be well. | 
